My Introspective Mirror

happy if slightly guilty

myintrospectivemirror — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 05:56:15 +0000

my car is way awesome. Ive realised that i can park close to work for 6 dollars, this means its basically the same cost as busing to work, however it can be dramatically shorter commute times. Its a really nice feeling driving to karate after work. Generally i dislike the commute home, especially late at night. It just feels right. not exactly socially reaponible. Oh well

zen habits

myintrospectivemirror — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 22:39:12 +0000

have been reading the zen habits website. It says u shld get rid of ckutter in your life. Ive got the following clutter

The xbox 360 i only just brought. Lol

My iron without a plug

My piece of crap eee pc

my langcomp blog.

Wanting to do forex

Possibly meg

Btw me and meg are doing great. Is so funny that we,re still in a relatuonship after all this time

Perl is my friend

myintrospectivemirror — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 10:39:28 +0000

Why am I so attracted to Perl? It’s such an ugly language and Python is clearly miles better. Yet I just keep coming back for more. I actually like it for its ugliness, and am also confused by it – surely there’s *some* reason why its better than other languages or no one would use it (possibly just cpan.org)

Funnily enough thats much the same reason why Meg said she curious about Johnno – there must be something in there behind all of the exterior boredom, lol

We had plenty of unprotected sex over the weekend. Fuck I hope the pill works as advertised =)

glow

myintrospectivemirror — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 10:52:43 +0000

i have a glow about me tonight. Worked for about 11 hours today and went to gym, ate, now home. However had great sex night before and ate lots and drank lots of water and gym was strerching. I feel fantastic. can feel myy body rejuvenating. am simply enjoying being. Fantastic

i win

myintrospectivemirror — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 19:22:29 +0000

Has been a few days, but turns out i toyally crushed Johnno and have properly gotten back together witg Meg. been sleeping at her place for the last 4 days. Johnno has been told that they are just friends

Hahahahahahaha i win motha fucka

First mobile post

myintrospectivemirror — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 09:57:48 +0000

I freakin loves my new mobile!

Too much to do, too little time

myintrospectivemirror — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 11:17:21 +0000

Made a list the other night while having a coffee at a hotel (in town, not out of town, nice having coffee in classy places every so often). The list was my todo list at work, as well as my IT todo list outside of work

Both lists were large, each was several months work. How the fuck am i supposed to get all of this stuff done AND maintain a high level of fitness AND grow my social life AND get a new girlfriend now that the old one looks cooked AND start some kind of side business outside of work AND increase my work/life balance. Blah meh.

Seriously, i need an extra 2 or 3 hours PER DAY. And not just extra hours, extra hours when my brain is powerful and can concentrate and be productive.

Just seems like an insurmountable problem. For instance today at Consumer I was doing some work on converting an old spreadsheet method for processing some data to a python/mysql method. It is at the top of my todo list. I got prioritised to do some work on 3 other small tasks. Then i had a haircut, so it was a long lunch. I didn’t actually start work on my primary task until 4 PM :/ I then worked until 8 PM, ate dinner, went to the gym, bused home, and then shit, all of a sudden its day over. And here’s the kicker, i got a decent amount of work done on the python project, but cos i’m coding to good standards it only felt like i did a fraction of the total amount of work that needs doing. While doing it i realised a bunch of other python tasks that need doing to ensure validity of the data that i’m outputting. This is gonna take forever! And then there’s 4 projects just like this todo, as well as a new website, an overhaul of an existing web app, another email template + cms to make. Not to mention the thousand other sub requests for work that’ll get thrown my way.

Oh and i’m supposed to take leave cos i have a couple of months owing at this point. Seriously like how the fuck am i supposed to do that =/

It’s basically at the point where i just start telling people that there’s a 2 month delay for any new work they want doing

Question for self

Earlier this post i said i want an extra 2 or 3 hours per day, basically just to do work. Here’s a question. Given the choice, would you rather 2 or 3 hours per day OR 10 million dollars and keep your current brain and quit your job. Which would you choose?

Funny how my instinct is for the 2 or 3 hours Perhaps my workaholic brain is the real problem, not my workload…

I like getting stoned

myintrospectivemirror — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 11:20:54 +0000

Got stoned last night with a certain stoner from Karate and stayed over at his place. Was really cool getting absolutely ripped, been ages since I’ve been stoned like that. Played some Tekken and watched some DVD’s. Ate a lot of food. Giggled non stop for about 4 hours.

Stayed over there and did a wake and bake and went to work! Was so cool, was chonged on the train in and was still a bit stoned when i was there. In fact I was still a bit high at lunch time. Ridiculously fun =)

My wake and bake consisted of 1 decent toke. 2 would definately been pushing it and you really wanna err on the edge of caution =) so next time i do a wake and bake take 1 big hit, that should be just the right amount.

For some reason i was listening to my Sony Walkman heaps today =)

And back to reality

Did a 10k run at the gym tonight like it was nothing, then did 25 minutes cross training – that said i think the weed in my system made it really easy cos time just flew by and i wasn’t really feeling any pain =) also had a V right before the gym, though that did mean i was pissing like a race horse, lol. Made me think that nurofean + panadol + V may make a good combo for training since the legal drugs may have the same effect as yummy illegal drug =)

temptation

Getting really close to crossing the emotional sales line where i say fuck it and plonk down $500 for a parallel imported Nokia E63. At lunch I had really good realisation (that funnily enough i usually have ever day after having a session) where i realise how important my mental reactions to people and events is. Those thoughts are what shape my personality. If i complusively have negative thoughts then i’ll develop negative traits in my personality. If instead I have positive thoughts, then my personality and my mental welbeing will be far happier.

I think i fall into this trap where i think “If i really wanted to change something about myself, then I could puts lots of effort in to it and i could do it cos i’m awesome”. Which is of course complete bullshit. It’s delusional stupitiy. Life is an art, quite a subtle art which requires conscentiousness to play at its best.

Focus on the subtle mental reactions

Oh yeah, E63. Yeah. If i had one there handy i would have written a note on it there and then. That was i would’ve remembered it. But i remembered anyway, so whats the point =)

I just want a shiny new toy =)

Anyway, if it helps with my introspection and increases the quality of my life, then don’t let money stop ya.

Shocks

Got new rear shocks installed in my Nissan today – oh my god – car has basically been transformed. I think the left rear one was pretty much on its last legs cos the knocking noise was getting really bad – and its not cured so implys that it wasn’t the shocks, but excessive movement back there was fucking with something. Also lowered the steering wheel so it’s in a way sportier position

Gave it a wee cane at the local bobsled track. The car is *so* good in corners now – i can comfortably drive it closer to the limit like i could with the old corollas – but of course since its a better handling car than those cars it just feels awesome

Also this is the first time that any car mainainence work i’ve done has actually been an upgrade and given a performance boost – and i like it =) i think i now understand the slippery slope that is modding your car.

Fuck i could easily burn through some cash here. I.e. well within realms of possibility to get new fronts shocks, upgrade all springs, upgrade tires, chip it, put it high grade oil, upgrade exhaust, get clutch cleaned up. easy 4 or 5k there.

Car would be so goddam fast around corners. Would be fun, but seriously, what a fuckin waste of money =)

God dammit

myintrospectivemirror — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 03:55:43 +0000

Yeah this is another Meg post

I’m so goddam confused about this whole situation, i really do feel like a chump

I stayed over at her place last night, though she was pretty insistent that we don’t have sex, or even kiss on the lips. She herself has no idea where she stands with Johnno. She pretty much admits that she doesn’t have a particularly strong attraction to him, and thinks that anything she does do is really just to see how it goes.

That said shes got very strong morals and doesn’t want to feel ike she’s cheating on him, so there must be more ging on there than i’m wlling to admit to myself.

It’s just, when we’re spending time together it feels like we’re together. I still haven’t got around the idea that we are not actually together. Don’t think that she has fully has ether, but she’s got other options whereas I don’t.

I feel fucking stupid.

I just need to fuck some different pussy, that would solve all my feelings i think.

Blibity blabity

myintrospectivemirror — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 03:43:55 +0000

Team

Went out with team to celebrate launch of new EvilCo website – our celebration was kind of overdue cos dumn ass senior management decided to highjack our party and turn it into political networking thing inviting heaps of external people, including people who need to have accomodation sorted (seriously, wtf).

So anyway our little team had a tasty pub lunch and a few drinks. We basically spent the whole of lunch dissing management and marketing – which despite my desire to be completey positive towards life – was a lot of fun!. Marketing especially, oh my god seriously our marketing manager is a fucking tard. She does not have a clue about marketing and sales. For new marketing ventures, our average cost per aquistion tends to be around $1,000 per person, the lifetime value per person is like $100. It is just stupid. She is fucking stupid and should be sacked. Oh course the stupid ho is in bed with the CEO (figuratively anyway) so not much chance of that happening.

# Gaming tonight

Off too a mates place for some board gaming! There was a Karate thing on tonight for this chick who sucks at Karate. Fortunately I’ve got a great excuse =) Perfect excuse really, cos its something that really want to do instead =)

# Girl pushups

Didn’t have time to go to the gym tonight so did pushups in room instead =) Turns out the girl pushups are good for a) warming up b) doing weird angles that hit small muscles.